Before this, God was just a figure to me. I went to Sunday School and learnt everything I needed to know about him. But God became real to me when I started to cry out to him during the nights, when I was 14. I had fears that my mother would pass on.
I didn't get an answer from God, nor a reply in any way, but I felt comforted in a strange way. Somehow, I knew that he heard me and that he's always watching over me and that alone has made me feel safe and loved.
Cassy.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Ze thingz zat zrive me to ve a Chriztian
Life before encountering God
I'm not sure when was the time I encounter God's presence , but I can certainly tell what I was...
I had very bad tantrums .
The reason why I had this is to satisfy my desire of anger, so
that people are able to pay more attention to my point . I
believe it gets to people's inner core mind . I tend to shout ,
throw anything I see even abuse it and sometimes abuse
physically on a person . It is certainly very satisfying .
I have no patience
Last time when I wanted things , I wanted it now! . I don't care
how much it cost or wether is it good or bad . I didnt evaluate
on the things I want , I just want it . Somemore I cant stand
waiting for people , it just waste my time . My precious time.
I can play , lepak , chit chat , etc.
I am so worldly
I tend to buy trading card games , wanted to be known to
what I have and own . I risk so much money just to be popular.
Like Magic the Gathering . I own this and that , people will
seek me for the power of the cards I own . Not only that ,
I also take care too much of how I look . I perasan too much,
fantasies the girls all around me get me such a playboy.
Money , Love , Girls , Sex , Materialism and Power are my
Number 1 in life .
I am easily irritated and rebelious
Mum always say the same repeatable things and it is
so irritating to my ears .
Dad always say alot of words of discouragements not love
and it got me sooo irritated when he always comment alot of
little bits of things.
Always get scolded , not being able to do what I want.
Cannot have time to be lazy.
What drove me to know God.
In church , everybody been praising God , everyone worships , sing
and I listen to sermons . Sermons... which I'm not sure ,is suppose to be
meant for ourselves , or suppose to be meant for kids . Usually parents
will go like , "you heard that? you have to improve in that" in a loud manner
so that everyone can hear our weaknesses . So I thought church is suppose
to point out kids weaknesses so that kids can improve . Instead as a kid ,
what I also learn is , Im suppose to do the same thing to my kids in the future too .
We know the bible exist , we know the words , but we do not apply it in our
daily life... why...? People said , its for the old generation to obey during those
times . Now its modern , we have or way , we have our laws and we can do
anything we want . Words of the bible is L.A.M.E. My parents thought me
how to shout at each other for solutions , how to make a point upon each other.
Somehow... those teachings gets harder and harder until no one likes to listen
to you . Then . I begin to wonder... why am I called a "christian" . It doesnt make
make me any less if I do not follow the bible even if I do not believe in it or even
if I do not go to church . Im still a christian. Im thinking , people will ask me ,
what type of christian are you? ..."ooo Im a christian who doesnt go to church
doesnt follow the word of God and carefree"
But in the dictionary it says "Christians"
1.of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings: a Christian faith.
2.of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ
3.of or pertaining to Christians.
4.exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of Jesus Christ; Christlike:
5.decent; respectable
6.human; not brutal
7.a person who believes in Jesus Christ;.
8.a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ
So this is truly what it means to be a christian . People been talking about Jesus
for 2000years . In order to destroy the faith of christianity they come out with
alot of sort of things like DaVinci , other types of Gospels and also movies .
But who is this Jesus is that kept me wonder. Why is he so famous until now.
That's where it begin.I begin to read and read about the life of Jesus in many
different text.
Encountering
When I read ,I begin to know his life . I find ...it unique . Alot of why
comes into my mind . So I decided on my own . To follow the footsteps
of Jesus Christ into my life . That is when I found the answer of my
emptiness . I begin to pray , establish contact with God . Faith increases
even in the myths of the world turning against you . I do not find it hard ,
I find I have the answer to everything I see and everything I do . I kept
talking and talking to God . I begin to see and evaluate things where
other's are unable to . I can see my weaknesses and try to be better
day by day . I know He is there even if I type this , He is also reading . I
know He exist and always guides me through and most of all I learnt that
He is the source of love . Not by women , not by money , not by the materialism
and not by popularity . Its all from one source , Jesus Christ himself.
Life after encountering God
I still continue to encounter til this day . Im still on the move , in times of
giving up , He is always there to carry me again and tell me not to give up .
People fire me with things that I cannot explain . Nevertheless it doesnt
hurt abit of my faith . Ive gained the gift of wisdom and awareness
from God , despite my blurity . I have good relationships with most of my
friends and family . I begin to share my wisdom to others in which God has
thought me . I learn how to show love from God . Im still learning alot
of things and I felt so much better then what I was before . I feel more
secure , happy and pure again . Like there is always light from darkness .
I feel like Im a perfectly made as a man again .
I'm not sure when was the time I encounter God's presence , but I can certainly tell what I was...
I had very bad tantrums .
The reason why I had this is to satisfy my desire of anger, so
that people are able to pay more attention to my point . I
believe it gets to people's inner core mind . I tend to shout ,
throw anything I see even abuse it and sometimes abuse
physically on a person . It is certainly very satisfying .
I have no patience
Last time when I wanted things , I wanted it now! . I don't care
how much it cost or wether is it good or bad . I didnt evaluate
on the things I want , I just want it . Somemore I cant stand
waiting for people , it just waste my time . My precious time.
I can play , lepak , chit chat , etc.
I am so worldly
I tend to buy trading card games , wanted to be known to
what I have and own . I risk so much money just to be popular.
Like Magic the Gathering . I own this and that , people will
seek me for the power of the cards I own . Not only that ,
I also take care too much of how I look . I perasan too much,
fantasies the girls all around me get me such a playboy.
Money , Love , Girls , Sex , Materialism and Power are my
Number 1 in life .
I am easily irritated and rebelious
Mum always say the same repeatable things and it is
so irritating to my ears .
Dad always say alot of words of discouragements not love
and it got me sooo irritated when he always comment alot of
little bits of things.
Always get scolded , not being able to do what I want.
Cannot have time to be lazy.
What drove me to know God.
In church , everybody been praising God , everyone worships , sing
and I listen to sermons . Sermons... which I'm not sure ,is suppose to be
meant for ourselves , or suppose to be meant for kids . Usually parents
will go like , "you heard that? you have to improve in that" in a loud manner
so that everyone can hear our weaknesses . So I thought church is suppose
to point out kids weaknesses so that kids can improve . Instead as a kid ,
what I also learn is , Im suppose to do the same thing to my kids in the future too .
We know the bible exist , we know the words , but we do not apply it in our
daily life... why...? People said , its for the old generation to obey during those
times . Now its modern , we have or way , we have our laws and we can do
anything we want . Words of the bible is L.A.M.E. My parents thought me
how to shout at each other for solutions , how to make a point upon each other.
Somehow... those teachings gets harder and harder until no one likes to listen
to you . Then . I begin to wonder... why am I called a "christian" . It doesnt make
make me any less if I do not follow the bible even if I do not believe in it or even
if I do not go to church . Im still a christian. Im thinking , people will ask me ,
what type of christian are you? ..."ooo Im a christian who doesnt go to church
doesnt follow the word of God and carefree"
But in the dictionary it says "Christians"
1.of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings: a Christian faith.
2.of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ
3.of or pertaining to Christians.
4.exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of Jesus Christ; Christlike:
5.decent; respectable
6.human; not brutal
7.a person who believes in Jesus Christ;.
8.a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ
So this is truly what it means to be a christian . People been talking about Jesus
for 2000years . In order to destroy the faith of christianity they come out with
alot of sort of things like DaVinci , other types of Gospels and also movies .
But who is this Jesus is that kept me wonder. Why is he so famous until now.
That's where it begin.I begin to read and read about the life of Jesus in many
different text.
Encountering
When I read ,I begin to know his life . I find ...it unique . Alot of why
comes into my mind . So I decided on my own . To follow the footsteps
of Jesus Christ into my life . That is when I found the answer of my
emptiness . I begin to pray , establish contact with God . Faith increases
even in the myths of the world turning against you . I do not find it hard ,
I find I have the answer to everything I see and everything I do . I kept
talking and talking to God . I begin to see and evaluate things where
other's are unable to . I can see my weaknesses and try to be better
day by day . I know He is there even if I type this , He is also reading . I
know He exist and always guides me through and most of all I learnt that
He is the source of love . Not by women , not by money , not by the materialism
and not by popularity . Its all from one source , Jesus Christ himself.
Life after encountering God
I still continue to encounter til this day . Im still on the move , in times of
giving up , He is always there to carry me again and tell me not to give up .
People fire me with things that I cannot explain . Nevertheless it doesnt
hurt abit of my faith . Ive gained the gift of wisdom and awareness
from God , despite my blurity . I have good relationships with most of my
friends and family . I begin to share my wisdom to others in which God has
thought me . I learn how to show love from God . Im still learning alot
of things and I felt so much better then what I was before . I feel more
secure , happy and pure again . Like there is always light from darkness .
I feel like Im a perfectly made as a man again .
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