Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hi, I'm Cassy.


It's been some time since anyone wrote in this blog. Many things have happened.
We go through life in our little ways... separately.

I am currently on my first full time job, in Property Management.
I am getting sleazy. As in, I've started to avoid work. It's only been a month and I've currently taken 4 days of leave already. Different days though. But yea in a month. Maybe I just didn't like the expectation that came even though it's such a low pay work. I mean, they even hound you for MC even though you're taking unpaid leave. >___>

I don't feel happy today. Yet I do not feel sad. I don't know... more like I'm waiting for something to happen and it doesn't. I'm just waiting for something.

All I know is I wish I didn't have to sleep so that I have more time to myself. Spending 8 hours a day working is actually pretty much what you do when you wake up. And like when you're back, and even though you have those hours to rest, you feel as if you haven't rested. Because right after you wake up, you face work again.

Anyhow, I often thought about us... I miss the times when we lepak.
Maybe because I am feeling like this today. Unharrassed. Not busy. That I have time to think and to remember what fun I had with the Klang Group. I mean... I remember feeling like this. Like so BLEHhhhh. And the one thing I looked forward to in Klang was this group :(

I don't have this group here in KK. I miss , really really miss it.
That's all for now :)

And I guess, no matter what, I won't let this slip by me too much.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Same question in a week

People start asking me , and manyyy of them

X1:do you have a gf?
X1:why not?
Me:why yes?
X1:pilot maaa..
Me:huh? pilot must have gf wan meh? is it a requirement?
(no answer)
X2:so going back for your girl eh?
Me:i dun have any..
X2:dun bluff lah
Me:really :S
X3:what do you think of girls?
X3:what is so wonderful?
X3:wei , i asking you la
Me:can you imagine a life with all guys? that will be very gay right?
X3:yeah... but you havent answer the question
Me:i answered already , i don't want to explain more.
(hint:X3 is a girl)
X4:u ***boyfriend??
Me:hah? nop
X4:but *** said so
Me:hah? big brother only
(no answer after that)
X5:can I meet you one day?
X5:how about tmmrw?
Me:sorry.. bz with work...
X5:i see.. do you have a girlfriend?
X5:sorry to get personal.
Me:i dun have any girlfriend,not thinking about it atm
X5:then you must be hopeless
Me: :/
(no answer)
X6:wei , my sister likes you la , she not preety meh?
Me:take care of her
X6:she broken hearted already la , go date with her la
Me:play pinball or any games with her
X6:woi , now pilot so lansi ady arrr?
Me:wei , i didnt even meet nor talk nor see a picture
of your sister before.
X6:tat's y la have to meet her
What's with this world pushing me to have someone?There are many more actually , but I didnt take heed of them anymore . When guys talk about girl , more to the expects of body and face . When girls talk about guys , more to the character and the height (+machoness) . I just simply do not want to take this to importance . Sometimes I pretend to be blur , so that I wouldn't listen to them or get influenced by them . Sometimes people cry on me because they had breakups and heartbreaks . In this world there is neverending perfect looking mate for yourself . You tend to hop hop hop like a kangaroo for a perfecter perfecter mate and break many hearts . That's is why we need God to guard our hearts for such downfall against breakups. Note that sometimes when we talk about what we like in the opposite gender loudly might offend people around , like Joyce Meyer said , don't think of how people can offend you , think of how you can offend people . Kelam kabutla , girls aren't the ones I am desperate live for . It is God I am desperate live for and I trust He will find a mate for me . 'Be infinity not worldy'

Sim life

I like going in the night . Less traffic , less worries and you could find better parking

The usual parking place at night . For day time is about 50 to 60 metres away.

This is is more active then mine , 24 hours , i think it never shuts down for more than 10 years. Only things I heard they did is restart .

It has retractable staircase , if the sim is active . The hydraulic jacks begins to function for motion .

Inside is the simulator , the place im standing is where the instructor sits . On the left of this picture is all the aircraft details and activities .

For me sim life , is not easy . Expectations are high . Questions can be thrown to you anytime
(esspecially without a partner) . No tolerance for any reasons . Its more then the word commitment that instructors wanted . The result to this is alot of negativity in health . Schedules are so tight .
Imagine this scenario , you prepared for what you know on what you are going to expect in your coming class session . So you did whatever you can , then when you go for that class , then suddenly you know another new expectation and you have only 1 day to revise and learn that new stuff before the next session . So it accumulates and instructors get more unhappy and unhappy and you did all you can . Instructors will start to assume many things like " you come from an easy life , you take things easy , you go out drinking or sth" , " you are going to expect more than this in real flying , not enough effort been put in " , "what the heck wrong is you , everyone can do it better than you" and etc. I wonder what is beyond studying ,not sleeping and not eating . Can people be realistic at times? I tried to cope up the whole December , in fact it was one of the record breaking for a cadet to finish syllabus within a month . Usually it will take 2 half months or 3 , for normal operations . After 13th december in the morning at 7 after coming back from my last session , I tell myself.. "Im tired..." although the result of my last sim wasnt satisfactory . How long will this holiday be? I hope its long... I need to exercise and to socialize more .
Sim life makes me understand more on the importance of time with family and friends (maybe im getting old) . I can see things are negatively fading in terms of spending time in my future . Flights , nightstops and my principles to keep myself faithful to God , its all I have now with me . Looking back on where I was , Im always amaze with planes and stuff , the uniforms pilot's wear , glamour and income . At this age , I do not find anymore importance of those anymore . My dream is achieved and Im happy . The only thing Im unhappy is the time taken away from me . Unlike normal jobs 7am to 8pm , come back and can have makan with family . But this things is inevitable now . Ill be nightstopping for quite sometime , I barely see their faces . Hardly . Every likings have its sacrifice and this is one of them . Nevertheless , the one person I know who is still with me and always do ... God.

Friday, December 14, 2007


I need lots of courage and more and more and more.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Closer to God.

Before this, God was just a figure to me. I went to Sunday School and learnt everything I needed to know about him. But God became real to me when I started to cry out to him during the nights, when I was 14. I had fears that my mother would pass on.

I didn't get an answer from God, nor a reply in any way, but I felt comforted in a strange way. Somehow, I knew that he heard me and that he's always watching over me and that alone has made me feel safe and loved.


Friday, November 16, 2007

Ze thingz zat zrive me to ve a Chriztian

Life before encountering God
I'm not sure when was the time I encounter God's presence , but I can certainly tell what I was...

I had very bad tantrums .

The reason why I had this is to satisfy my desire of anger, so

that people are able to pay more attention to my point . I

believe it gets to people's inner core mind . I tend to shout ,

throw anything I see even abuse it and sometimes abuse

physically on a person . It is certainly very satisfying .

I have no patience

Last time when I wanted things , I wanted it now! . I don't care

how much it cost or wether is it good or bad . I didnt evaluate

on the things I want , I just want it . Somemore I cant stand

waiting for people , it just waste my time . My precious time.

I can play , lepak , chit chat , etc.

I am so worldly

I tend to buy trading card games , wanted to be known to

what I have and own . I risk so much money just to be popular.

Like Magic the Gathering . I own this and that , people will

seek me for the power of the cards I own . Not only that ,

I also take care too much of how I look . I perasan too much,

fantasies the girls all around me get me such a playboy.

Money , Love , Girls , Sex , Materialism and Power are my

Number 1 in life .

I am easily irritated and rebelious

Mum always say the same repeatable things and it is

so irritating to my ears .

Dad always say alot of words of discouragements not love

and it got me sooo irritated when he always comment alot of

little bits of things.
Always get scolded , not being able to do what I want.

Cannot have time to be lazy.

What drove me to know God.
In church , everybody been praising God , everyone worships , sing
and I listen to sermons . Sermons... which I'm not sure ,is suppose to be
meant for ourselves , or suppose to be meant for kids . Usually parents
will go like , "you heard that? you have to improve in that" in a loud manner
so that everyone can hear our weaknesses . So I thought church is suppose
to point out kids weaknesses so that kids can improve . Instead as a kid ,
what I also learn is , Im suppose to do the same thing to my kids in the future too .
We know the bible exist , we know the words , but we do not apply it in our
daily life... why...? People said , its for the old generation to obey during those
times . Now its modern , we have or way , we have our laws and we can do
anything we want . Words of the bible is L.A.M.E. My parents thought me
how to shout at each other for solutions , how to make a point upon each other.
Somehow... those teachings gets harder and harder until no one likes to listen
to you . Then . I begin to wonder... why am I called a "christian" . It doesnt make
make me any less if I do not follow the bible even if I do not believe in it or even
if I do not go to church . Im still a christian. Im thinking , people will ask me ,
what type of christian are you? ..."ooo Im a christian who doesnt go to church
doesnt follow the word of God and carefree"
But in the dictionary it says "Christians"
1.of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings: a Christian faith.
2.of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ
3.of or pertaining to Christians.
4.exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of Jesus Christ; Christlike:
5.decent; respectable
6.human; not brutal
7.a person who believes in Jesus Christ;.
8.a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ
So this is truly what it means to be a christian . People been talking about Jesus
for 2000years . In order to destroy the faith of christianity they come out with
alot of sort of things like DaVinci , other types of Gospels and also movies .
But who is this Jesus is that kept me wonder. Why is he so famous until now.
That's where it begin.I begin to read and read about the life of Jesus in many
different text.

When I read ,I begin to know his life . I find unique . Alot of why
comes into my mind . So I decided on my own . To follow the footsteps
of Jesus Christ into my life . That is when I found the answer of my
emptiness . I begin to pray , establish contact with God . Faith increases
even in the myths of the world turning against you . I do not find it hard ,
I find I have the answer to everything I see and everything I do . I kept
talking and talking to God . I begin to see and evaluate things where
other's are unable to . I can see my weaknesses and try to be better
day by day . I know He is there even if I type this , He is also reading . I
know He exist and always guides me through and most of all I learnt that
He is the source of love . Not by women , not by money , not by the materialism
and not by popularity . Its all from one source , Jesus Christ himself.

Life after encountering God
I still continue to encounter til this day . Im still on the move , in times of
giving up , He is always there to carry me again and tell me not to give up .
People fire me with things that I cannot explain . Nevertheless it doesnt
hurt abit of my faith . Ive gained the gift of wisdom and awareness
from God , despite my blurity . I have good relationships with most of my
friends and family . I begin to share my wisdom to others in which God has
thought me . I learn how to show love from God . Im still learning alot
of things and I felt so much better then what I was before . I feel more
secure , happy and pure again . Like there is always light from darkness .
I feel like Im a perfectly made as a man again .

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Mumbai Superstar

I came across this awesome Malaysian band and I think they are so plainly Malaysian that I love them! One of their songs (Mumbai Superstar) reminded me of Jou's post so yeah, go check em out and tell me what you think.

Mumbai Superstar


I’d like to take you to the mountain.
Along with a hundred of my back up dancers
Then I looked …left ….right …left …then I hide behind a tree
Just to catch a glimpse of you in your saree…..

Minachi Minachi Minachi Minachi
Come and dance with me
I am your papadam, tabla goes dum dum dum.
Come and dance with me

I’m a Bombay superstar.

I’ll take on all the vicious enemy. Come come.
A few hundreds of them surround me. aiyoyo
Then I fight.. (dus das bang).. I’m undefeatable
Though I’m slashed, hacked and shot. I’m unbreakable.

Ey Tambi, Ey Tambi, Ey Tambi, Ey Tambi,
Come and fight with me.
I’ll fight my enemy like I make chapatti,
Come and fight with me.

I’m a Mumbai superstar.

Minachi Minachi Minachi Minachi ..Aiyo
Come and dance with me
I am your papadam, tabla goes dum dum dum.
Come and dance with me
Oh my love!……….Come and dance with me.
Back up dancers dei!….Come and dance with me

I’m a Mumbai superstar

Also, if anyone could somehow get hold of their album for me in Malaysia and mail it to me over here. I will be eternally grateful. :P

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Funny Hindi Dying Moments

I was watching this hindi movie in hannah mamak at 2 in the morning .
it was quite funny . This hero protects the VIP , and he was shot several times
by a terrorist with a AK-47 . Then the hero collapsed . Now the funny part
comes in , he can talk for quite a long time like 15-20 minutes. Very important
last words , he can even salute to the VIP .
The VIP slap him quite a number of times to ensure he is awake , waw that is
really uncomfortable for a dying hero . Whatmore he was shot from the back
several times and he was bleeding badly . The VIP carried him and place his back
resting on his knee and the hero faces him . Ill be like aaarrrgggghh!pain lah! dun put
your knee on my back lah! u crazy ah! . But no , he continues his last words .
Naturally a man in pain will place his hands on his wound (which is behind his back)
but no , he place his hands on the VIPs shoulder . Gaya man .
He must be really a hero, more stronger than Terminator .
Respect respect -_-

Sunday, September 16, 2007

leave me alone

My tears are rolling down my cheek after I read those nasty comments those 'human' commented on my blog.
They are trying to ruin my reputation, my image.
Why on earth they pick on me?
I was so sad and weak and I wanted to call some of my close friends but I can't.
Coz some of them are in overseas, some busy with studies & etc.
And some are not even on MSN.
Well, I wanted to blog badly to express how I felt right now but I can't.
It's MY blog but I can't blog there no more.
Luckily I still can blog here.
K, you guys might think that it's silly to cry over those plp or comments.
Yea, I know it's silly but I can't take control of it. I failed to do so.
I'm feeling very weak right now.
I'm having exams on Tues & Wed, I have alot of things to plan for & etc.
I really had alot of things to do and worried about.
Out of a sudden, this kind of things happen again.
There's a limit for ERVERYTHING!
What I've done wrong that you guys need to treat me like that?
Why can't ALL OF YOU just leave me alone.
This is not the first time, come on guys, why can't all of you just ignore me?
I have nothing to ask from you guys But I just want you guys to

Episode 1

Its 4am , and Im waiting for my 20 minutes download to finish for the sim . hehehe . Anyway... what to post while waiting... yeah. Im not good at preaching , maybe just good to write whatever I know only . Today's topic maybe about ... our daily anger . Hehe , a good topic . Now lets get started . (Pls comment what you think) . Getting angry with people is a natural thing that is happening throught our daily lives . Its how we control it and make it as a good habit be in the right sight of God .

Lets say , fast drivers . They pass you at the speed of 200km/h . Then you tend to hear from parents or from your heart , "this guy ah , young blood , speed and dun care about people's lives" . Come to think of it , maybe its true . But I can recommend a more positive way of thinking , and it is effective of being not so judgemental towards people.. its good for the mind too and at least people see how pure/different you are . The way is to look it as "Maybe he is rushing to the hospital .. for some reason" . What ya think? hehe .

Lets go to the next scenario , people scold you for no reason .. no reason at all . They just like to scold you . Sometimes they enjoy it . They bring you down , humilate you in front of people . Hmmm... tough isn't it ? Getting this scolding almost yer whole life by the same person ... How to handle this , even I am in the process . But at least its getting better . You see , thats the good thing for us to think about God . Because we are focus and narrowed about how we are ONLY concern of how God thinks about us , therefore we just somehow feel better . If people start thinking like "Yeah , that's Jou , and he has been a playboy amongst all the stewardess" . Sad , but if you know its not true , then just keep it to yourself . If you understand what God is like then you will pray "Oh Lord , forgive whoever it is , I know its not true , nevertheless , I trust you can do something about this matter , I release these problems to you" . May sound bitter (bitter to forgive) , but try to get use to this and apply it to heart . Definitely you will feel alot better . Because you will get this feeling like , "This person have all these ppl to tell on earth and have them believe all the false rumours about it . Nevertheless.. this person just have people on these earth to speak bad about you .Comparatively I have God with me , because God is far beyond more then people on these earth , to believe that I truely am not a playboy.God will help me ."

That reminds me ,
Believe and love ... they are 2 different meanings . I believe in Jesus . Oh yes..most people does . Believing only doesn't help much in daily lives that is because , believing is just to know Jesus exist . So what... get on our lives lo . But , to love is entirely different . The reason is because to kau tim believing also . I know Jesus existed and I just simply love Him . I want Him to be proud of me , what am I going to do ? .. aaaaaaa..... now what are you going to do?
hehehe... to actually love Jesus , is not to follow whatever people ask to say or do .. it is by knowing how Jesus lived on earth . He came here to be a perfect example . So know His life first and think why He does this and that .. then slowly apply to your own life lo . hehe. (dun apply until you think you are God:dangerous , ill tell later.)

Okie that's all for today , I gotta go now , good night and post comment about this . Im also still learning actually .